Alley Cat Bike Race

By Glenn Judah
Published in the March 2008 issue of Drift Magazine
Link: Alley Cat Bike Race

[Editor’s note: Due to crashing into the police - almost literally - the names of riders have been changed to protect identities.]

“Be careful, there’s a lot of traffic out there” was the last warning issued before a pack of 96 complete freaking lunatics hijacked the sleepy streets of St. Augustine on a wild goose chase for glory.

In February, local bike fanatics and some from as far as Sarasota, St. Petersburg, Tampa, Orlando, and Richmond, Va., gathered to compete in St. Augustine’s first Alley Cat bike race.

“It’s the craziest thing I’ve ever done in my life,” a rider from Sarasota said on a perfect Saturday for pushing the limits.

THIS ISN’T NECESSARILY LEGAL

The Alley Cat had little to no rules. Organizers drew inspiration from urban bicycle couriers who risk bodily harm as they peddle, cut and break in between traffic attempting to deliver packages. Alley Cat racers did the same as they smashed through the city’s streets on a mission to collect special items and maps.

“It’s American Gladiators meets Tour de France,” one of the organizers said. “This is a scavenger hunt on bikes with booze.”

Between the starting point and finish, there were 11 checkpoints, 19 miles and plenty of chaos. St. Augustine was the course, its unsuspecting citizens the obstacles. Think “Cannonball Run” on two wheels.

“This isn’t necessarily legal,” one of the contestants said. “You’re supposed to follow the rules of the road just like an automobile.”

Breaking the law is not encouraged … but it is an advantage.

“It helps to not obey traffic lights,” one rider said. “But each person knows what they’re doing. It is up to the rider on whether to break the law or not.”

BEER IS THE GATORADE OF ALLEY CAT RACING

Riders began their intense pre-race prep with Old Milwaukee, Pabst Blue Ribbon and a few cigarettes. Alley Cat organizers don’t have to worry about scandals with steroids and illegal performance-enhancing drugs.

“There are 20 or so who are serious about the race,” one of the organizers said. “The others are packing in beers. Beer is the Gatorade of Alley Cat racing.”

Once everyone paid their $8 entry fee, chugged their last beer and reviewed the map to the first checkpoint, it was on. The race began at the back fence of Eddie L. Vickers Recreational Facility. Riders stood up against the fence waiting for the signal to sprint 50 feet to a tangled mass of bikes lying on the ground.

SUDDENLY … THEY WERE OFF.

“What the hell was that?” asked a bystander who was playing football nearby as he watched the riders stampede toward their bikes, stumbling and fighting to get in an upright position and take to the streets.

DAVEY HIT A TRUCK

Two riders suffered mechanical problems within the first 500 feet, blowing tires as they sprinted toward the first checkpoint on the Vilano Beach access ramp. From there, the race rumbled toward the corner of S.R. 16 and U.S. 1.

At the second checkpoint, things got dangerous. Riders circled the intersection, roaming in and out of heavy traffic in search of the next clue. Drivers waiting at the light stared in amazement as the first 15 riders came within inches of crashing into their car bumpers.

Later, drivers had to jam their brakes when they saw a bicyclist careening the wrong way down the middle of the road.

Not all cars would be avoided. There were several minor collisions, and two riders went head-first over their handlebars when they slammed into vehicles.

“Davey from Jacksonville hit a truck and flew over the hood onto the other side and Jake of St. Augustine flew onto the hood of a station wagon,” one rider reported.

I THOUGHT ABOUT TRYING TO OUT-RUN THE COP

The race was not without a few run-ins with St. Augustine’s finest. Two riders were issued reckless driving tickets, costing each about $180 and points on their driver’s licenses for running red lights.

“I was going past the Bridge of Lions on San Marco when it happened,” one of the ticketed riders explained. “I thought about trying to out-run the cop for a split second, but then realized that wasn’t a good idea.”

AN ACCOMPLISHMENT

Despite his accident, Davey landed in 19th place. Jake also managed to finish, which was an accomplishment: only 39 of the 96 competitors finished with all the checkpoints. It took the last rider an hour and 10 minutes to hit them all.

The rest of the checkpoints in order were: McLaughlin St. off of West King; Sprockets Bike Shop; the alley at Treasury and Charlotte St.; a park at St. George St. and St. Francis St.; the Fort; a house on Riberia St.; the Lightner Museum; the Lighthouse and the final stop, Alcazar St.

A former pro cyclist from Tampa grabbed first place on the men’s side. Cassie from St. Augustine was tops in the women’s division.

CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY

If you were out on the roads that fateful day and witnessed this contest in action, consider yourself lucky. This underground cycling catastrophe is a ridiculous, inspiring event whose spirit can be summed up by Lisa, a rider from Orlando, who competed even with her broken right foot in a cast.

“Hell yeah, I’m going to ride,” Williams said.